Love or Attachment ?

Masoom was a loving single mother of  fifteen years old daughter, Rhea, who lost her father in an early age. Their life revolved around each other as nobody else was important for them. Two of them shared a sweet little world, but less spacious. Mom was overprotective and the daughter, over-possessive. Rhea literally avoided even a rarest get-togethers or movie-outs with Masoom’s only friend, Nigar. She felt out-of-place out there with people; however, her mother, Masoom wanted her to be extrovert. Masoom was a working woman but she couldn’t give a single day, when it came to compromise her priority, and that’s Rhea. She denied to stay overtime even for crucial tasks, justifying the boss, “You know I’m a single mother, and a single mother has to be both mom and dad.” God knows how she managed without being fired and why her boss adjusted.

Masoom made her daughter totally dependent upon her. For example, she especially accompanied Rhea in purchasing ice cream from the parlor, having an overprotective thought that she might mess with the transactions. Masoom, even as a busy woman, provided her the regular pick-n-drop facility from school and never allowed her to try commuting herself with friends or by her scooty. All in all, they were certainly like friends, but Rhea lacked an average toughness, confidence, and strength as a grownup teenage.

Days passed, when Masoom approached a new project with a handsome colleague and coincidentally her childhood friend’s brother, whom she knew since long and startled to find in the office. It was a turning phase for Masoom as she enjoyed, laughed her heart out with Raj. Turning phase not in the sense of attraction or fascination, of course, as she knew her limits and priorities as a mother, but in terms of leading a fulfilling, ecstatic life. Raj had an amazing sense of humor and sensibility, thus, he was the man to enjoy with. Two years back he was divorced, since when he wanted to enjoy life without further commitments or duty towards any relationship. He  changed projects and jobs, hopping from one place to another, trying to avoid her sister’s over-insist on remarriage. Masoom’s sensibility, maturity and light-heartedness, call for balanced, condensed persona made him euphoric and blissed after ages.

Interactions overflowed with the purest of intentions and Raj was invited for dinner. Three of them were chatter-box, as comfortable as parents. To Masoom’s surprise, Rhea, the most calculative on earth, developed an unexpected comfort zone with Raj. Rhea interacted with Raj in playing guitar and talking knowledge stuffs. Raj started feeling for Masoom but three of them were nothing more than friends. They never dated without taking Rhea along, until a few months later, they hanged out alone, as Raj especially wanted to his new house along with something foreseeable, proposal for marriage. Masoom was like, “Let’s shun this thought for now.”

Things started changing for Rhea, but only in her captive mind. Changes were indeed on the positive side for sure. Raj sometimes found it weird on how Masoom helped her daughter at every step and he pointed out, whimsically though. For instance, Raj gave the paying card and asked, “Let’s have coffee. Rhea, will you please go and get it for us from the nearby shop?” As Masoom unbelted herself to accompany her, Raj interrupted, “Oh come on, give her some space. She’ll get it herself; what’s wrong with you ? She has to go near-by.” Masoom stayed back restlessly. In a way, Rhea’s betterment project started. She went alone, crossed the road on her own this time, but the disturbing  changes she met was, “Mom obeyed him.”

Nevertheless, people/society always find hard to digest any pure but unnamed relationships, especially when a woman is involved; may be they’re habitual of accepting specific relations. Masoom’s friend, Nigar beaked in to suggest her regarding marrying the guy, as Rhea might not have any issues. Masoom, who had no such highlighted consciousness, eventually realized her infatuation and comfort zone with Raj and discussed it with Rhea outspokenly.

Rhea:  “Mom, do you love him ?”

Masoom: “I don’t know. All what I know is he’s difficult to ignore, but darling, you know that I won’t take any decision without your acceptance … you know that you’re the only angel and I love you the most on earth...”

Rhea remained unspoken. She gave the expressions of consent, but the feeling of insecurity and Mom’s shared love ingrained into her timid heart.

Unable to fetch Rhea from her school due to overwork one noon, Masoom asked Raj to do so, for which Raj managed with emphatic responsibility. Raj dropped her home but couldn’t leave the girl alone, so both of them had a great time waiting for Masoom, roasting pretzels, reading books, accessing FB etc.. Its hard to accept for any normal people what Rhea did, with respect to her insecurities and possessiveness.

Rhea anticipated her Mom’s arrival by the hissing sound of the opening gate, and ran blatantly down the stairs, whining and snuffling, hugged Mom, within a fraction of seconds for anybody else could understand the matter. Raj was standing vaguely at the back.

“Mom, he tried to ….tried to molest me,” Rhea stammered with fear.

Predictably, Masoom slapped Raj, uttered all the bulshits, without listening to his explanations, their relationship ended at a devastated mode.

Rhea was still a teenage, a raw mold who could still sense her conscience. She could feel the negative neurons blaming her badly, especially when she saw her Mom still trying to normalize. She apologized to Mom numerous times even when she was unfaulty in Mom’s eyes.

“Why’re you saying sorry ? You’ve done no wrong...it was my mistake dear...I trusted him...I’ll be fine.” Masoom assured.

Rhea couldn’t handle the overloaded baggage of remorse for long and called Raj to confess and talk her heart out, three months later after the incident.

Raj: “What’s the matter ? Why did you call me after all this ?”

Rhea: “To apologize. I’m not a decent girl, Mr. Raj. I’ve committed a crime...I’ve hurt you and my mom, who loves me so much. I’m worth hating. You should hate me for what I’ve done.”

Rhea burst into tears explicitly like the black clouds ready for the outburst.

Raj: “Hatred doesn’t solve problems, Rhea. What’ll I achieve hating you. Well, you’ve hurt your mom indeed. Go ahead, why did you do that ?”

Rhea: “I was afraid, insecured. Mom and me shared all the love and affection alone since Dad’s death. After realising mom’s deepest love for you, I became insecure; I never thought of sharing mom’s love with anyone on earth. I had never seen mom giving priorities to somebody else than me. She never gave you though, but I was worried about the damn future.”

Raj: “Yeah, but why couldn’t you simply reject our relationship straight way? Masoom would’ve ended the issue then and there.”

Rhea: “But her love for you still persisted, isn’t it? I thought she’ll end up hating you after all this, and we two will be back-to-normal...but she couldn’t hate you, Mr. Raj. In fact, that pain, that melancholy is still that in her eyes, which increased my guilt even more.”

Raj: “Rhea, She could’ve forgotten everything quite easily but she knows everything. And you know what ? that’s the actual reason of her grief. She also never imagined she would be revealing her daughter’s truth not directly through her but with the help of a CCTV camera. Yes! she checked the camera the same day and came to apologize on your behalf and for informing me about our breakup.”

Rhea was dumbstruck. Her tears seemed to be halted and dried with aghastment. She was kind of shivering. Her repented eyes were staring sharply at her activated goosebumps, when the doorbell rang.

It was Masoom. Finding Raj at her home, she guessed the things are clarified. She stared at Rhea with an unconditional acceptance, which is expected only from a mother. Masoom embraced her daughter tightly and they both sniveled their heart out; this time it was the happy and proud tears.

“I’m sorry mom,” Rhea apologized with the fragile voice.

Three of them kick started their life happily.

If I’m expecting or insecure that my love might be shared, that’s attachment.

If a mother is forbidding her child to ride a bicycle for the fear that she’ll fall down and get hurt, that’s attachment

If I’m expecting my child to take care of me just because I gave birth and sacrificed all my life for him, that’s attachment.

If a wife is too possessive and skeptical for her husband for she thinks she’s loving, that’s attachment.

If a husband is scared of her independence and contentment, that’s attachment

If I love, I know what love is, firstly I love myself unconditionally.

Since I love myself,  I am all set to love others.

If I love, I am too empowered and strong to encourage my child, “Go ride the bicycle, no problem in falling down, start again.”

If I love, I don’t care whether my husband loves me to that extent because there are no extents in love. I love him unconditionally and all set to give him space, peace because that’s all I have to offer.

If I love, I don’t expect anything from my children because I accept them as they are. (Expectations and acceptance don’t go hand-in-hand.)

If I love, I am fearless and want my wife always be independent and blissed, as I’m happy, and that’s all I can offer: happiness, love, purity, prosperity.

If I love, I’m positive and all I can offer is positive.

We conveniently adapt our lifestyles creating our own myths: “where there’s love, attachment is natural”; whereas, love and attachment cannot exist together. One can either be in love or attached.

There’s a thin line between love and attachment but the reactions and outcomes are somewhat antipodean. When we love someone, we should be more towards carefree, empowered and full of acceptance. There should be no rooms for insecurity, fear and expectations, isn’t it ? If that’s existing subtly, then somehow it's not love, it might be attachment. Love can’t be conditional. It’s beyond all the measurements and horizons; therefore, love breeds peace and power and lightness of mind. Love antecedes optimism; whereas, attachment breeds negativism on a subtle level which might decay the relations, as they say,  “Attachment is the cause of all misery.”